Toby Ludmer

February 4, 2021


It is with great sadness that we inform our community of the passing of Toby Ludmer on Tuesday, February 2 (20 Shevat 5781) at the age of 94. Toby was the mother of longtime Beth Sholom congregant, Caren Ludmer.

Toby lost her beloved husband, Irving Ludmer in 2005. She is survived by her daughter, Caren Ludmer; her grandsons, Antonio Perich, and Andre and Aidan Freedman; and her granddog, Renzo. Toby is also survived by her many beloved nieces and nephews; grand nieces and grand nephews; and great grand nieces and great grand nephews.

Toby was born in Philadelphia and grew up in Trenton,New Jersey, the third of four children of Anna and Charles Graboyes. The majority of Toby's career was spent working for the New Jersey Dept of Labor and Industry where her husband also worked. With the passing of her mother in 1983, Toby became the family matriarch, who enjoyed nothing more than spending time with her many family members and friends. She was extraordinarily generous, especially with her time, and she was always ready to do a favor or lend a supportive ear. She loved animals, especially dogs.

Toby was a longstanding member of Adath Israel Congregation; she was active in the sisterhood, and volunteered in the office after she retired. She spent years fundraising for Deborah Heart and Lung Center and Greenwood House Senior Healthcare. She also spent hours reading to the preschool children at the Jewish Community Center in Ewing, NJ. 

Toby was a lifelong Democrat and a warrior for social justice. She was thrilled when Caren, Antonio and she were able to hear Joe Biden speak at the San Francisco Jewish Community Center in 2017. She was proud to cast her absentee ballot for him this fall and grateful that she lived to see the day he was inaugurated. 

Toby was an avid Mahjong player. She and a group of five other women had a weekly game for over 50 years. She loved gambling - taking the bus to Atlantic City, occasionally traveling to Las Vegas, and playing the lottery almost every day. She was famous for baking Passover sponge cakes for everyone she knew. The proudest day of Toby's life was the day of her grandson, Antonio's Bar Mitzvah.

Graveside funeral service will be held at Ewing Cemetery in Ewing, New Jersey on Monday, February 8 at 12:30 pm Eastern time. Shiva will be held via Zoom on Monday and Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. Pacific time. 

Please click the link(s) below to join the shiva.

Monday, February 8 at 5:00 p.m.
Meeting ID: 842 4820 0234
Tuesday, February 9 at 5 p.m.
Meeting ID: 819 9010 3506

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Toby Ludmer, please visit our floral store.


Funeral Service
February 8, 2021

12:30 PM
Ewing Cemetery Ewing NJ

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